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12:18 and I can sit here and watch you sleep all night. I wonder what you dream as I’m wondering what this all means. The hardest thing is coming home to you already asleep. No play time for me. I’m missing all the important laughs and screams. Only a few hours before I have to leave. And you question where I may be. I’m sorry baby daddy has to make money. In order to care for you, in order to care for mom, in order to grow so hold on b/c I promise this struggle won’t be

Constantly searching for ways to heal Heal myself and my wounds Heal without needing to consume any drug, any pill Heal myself and the deepest depths I try to cover Heal myself without needing any form of attention to make me feel accepted Heal myself without needing any form of affection to make me feel complete Heal myself and learn the name of the demons I conceal. How can I heal? When all I’m searching for is someone to have next to me to keep it real. Someone I ca

I’m here driving and I constantly find myself wanting, searching, hoping I end up lost in a place far from home. Like a accidental trip down a rabbit hole. Where I find healing amongst the trees in a place so deserted it’s seems like I’m the only person that air was to meant for. Where the birds sing the melodies I write too. Where the water splashes its waves just for me to hear and the sunlight paints a picture just for my eyes to see. Where the earth blooms just for me to

Honestly I feel like I’m all alone I scream to make my voice heard but the only thing that comes out is silence I’m being tug in every which way, please life pull a little harder til my limbs break This shit on my back is gaining weight The rocks their throwing are hitting a little harder Leaving bruises that ache and leaves me asking how much further can I go I’m losing hope Despair in the air as I walk on this tightrope Wondering if the next rock that hits me will knock m

July 10th, As I’m working on my writing I’m wondering how to write so glamorously But I know that isn’t me nor is that how I want others to perceive me to be I can’t get my mind off of you and all the things we can be But in reality I don’t know if those dreams will ever come into fruition Yet I’m so in love with the fascination that comes when I daydream of our destination All the “ifs” and “buts” can’t disintegrate the positive wonders that unveil in my subconscious brain

I’m in between trying to forget you and waiting for you to come back #July #JournalEntry

I’ll write a quick poem for you Idk what it is, I’m searching for clues But I keep on having dreams of you Maybe it was reading my book last night it made so many memories come through It’s funny all those nightmare you had, they all came true I know you don’t think of me anymore like I think of you. And honestly maybe it’s cause you found someone new That gave you feelings I could never produce So while you’re happier with that someone new I’m still waiting patiently hopi

Today we love to claim we’re an open book when really we just ripped out the pages we don’t want anyone to read. So when it comes to vulnerability I wonder what makes us so afraid to be open... that fear of being judged, that feeling not being good enough. #June #JournalEntry

What does it mean to be vulnerable? Bare & true to yourself? I feel like if you ask this question to 5 million people you’ll get 5 million answers.. I sit in the dark, wondering where to start, cutting myself open in order to create all this art, so others can feel the honesty that comes from this heart. Now I’m questioning why I’m left lying here torn apart.. — Sometimes you have to tell yourself don’t be so harsh. You are who you are, so don’t censor the truth of your hear

I’m sitting here in the middle of my neighborhood. In a house that hasn’t fully been built yet. It’s just a base cement. No walls just a platform. I sit here in the middle of this platform under the stars, under the moon. Just simply taking in life and all it’s beauty Thank you god for allowing me to be alive in this very moment. Allowing me to see the stars glow and sparkle within every blink I’m amazed #June #JournalEntry